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Anonymous: I'm moving to a new city. Idk how to meet new people, and I'm not close to my old friends so I don't really have a steady support system. But I was looking forward to trying online dating. I just feel weird pursuing a relationship when I don't have bffs for advice or to make sure I'm staying safe or to lean on if things go wrong with a date... I have my family I guess, but I can't talk to them like I could to friends... Should I focus on making friends first, however long that takes?
   

Hi there :)

Congrats on your move! People believe that everyone has to have a close knit group of best friends to even function in life but that isnt necessarily true. if you feel ready to date and dont feel the need to depend on other people, then go for it! however, if you feel like if a relationship/date didn’t go as well as you hoped and you didn’t have people to talk to about it then you’d feel really bad about yourself, then i’d definitely suggest making friends first.

Friends are great when you’re meeting someone from the internet. They can act as chaperones for the first time you’re meeting to make sure its not a 50 year old instead of that hot guy you thought you were talking to and someone to tell where you are in case you feel unsafe even after the first date.

It all depends on your personality, so i suggest thinking about how you’d feel in those situations if you didn’t have a close friend to help.

Though i would definitely suggest telling atleast one person you can depend on whenever you meet anyone online, and let them know who you’re with and where you’re going to be. & always meet them in a public place the first time round.

Hope i’ve helped :)

~Chrissy

Posted 2 days ago with 0 notes

Anonymous: I had a friend with depression/abandonment issues. She's really sweet but an extreme perfectionist, and whenever she's feeling low she hides her problems and self-isolates for long stretches. I tried reaching out once while she hid out and she lashed out and said hurtful things so I'd stay away, but took me staying away personally. It scares me that she sees hurting me as on par with "burdening" me with problems and thinks I only really care about her if I can accept that treatment. I do care!
   

Hey there :)

It seems like you’re in a really difficult situation. When someone has mental health problems like your friend it can be really difficult to see them hurting and not being able to do anything to help. People with mental health problems have a warped perception of the world and the people in it so while she is at her low points that will be even worse.

I would suggest have a serious conversation with her while shes in a reasonably good mood and explaining how you feel and that youre willing to be there for her even when shes down. It might take time for her to open up but if youre there for her when she needs it, she’ll be grateful.

At the same time though, if she makes it clear that she’s not comfortable with telling you whats upsetting her, especially when shes in a good mood/place then don’t push her and blame it on her mental health, she may just not feel like she can talk about some things.

and if she opens up to you you’re making a commitment to being her friend through thick and thin. A full on commitment. So please don’t promise her you’ll be there and then leave when it suits you. You can end up messing her up really bad.

Best of luck,  i hope shes well.

~Chrissy

Posted 2 days ago with 0 notes

anything-advice-blog: Hi, how are you today? I have a quick question for you, I was wondering if you could let your followers know that I'm an advice blog. I give advice on anything & everything from eating disorders and other mental health, to friendships, relationships, family, sexuality, fashions. Seriously anything. It would be awesome if you could post this message so your followers can see. My blog is pro recovery & I have TONS of helpful resources on my blog. Feel free to message me anytime -Shelby & admins.
   

Hey guys, anytime we are not online or you would like to speak to someone other than us, go here! :)

Notice: this is the last non-directory blog we will be promoting. the directory can be found HERE and contains a bunch of advice blogs to help you.

Posted 2 days ago with 0 notes

Anonymous: Related to the question about friends in a relationship: what do you generally think of guys/girls staying friends with ppl of the opposite gender (or same if lgbq) if they were really close friends before the relationship? Doesn't making her bf cut close friends out of his life seem controlling & isolating, i.e. kind of selfish & abusive? Who will be his support system if things don't work out? When you date someone, you date their lifestyle; making him change any of it doesn't seem like love.
   

Hey there :)

I think it all depends on the relationship those two people have. For instance, if they have boundaries and don’t do anything concerning then yes stopping them being friends would be controlling but in some friendships there are no boundaries and friends of both the opposite and same sex act like couples because theyre single and when one of them gets into a relationship it can be difficult to adjust, which is where i think the partner needs to make their feelings clear. 

And of course if you were dating someone who’s in a friendship where they act like a couple and they refused to change, its then your choice whether or not to stay in that relationship and accept their friendship.

Hope i helped make my opinion clear, and i in no way condone controlling or isolating your partner in a relationship.

~Chrissy

Posted 2 days ago with 0 notes

Anonymous: So I have a good friend. She's a great person. We never have problems between us. But I don't know what it is that draws me away from her. I never want to hangout and I barely want to talk to her. I feel so bad that I think like this. She tends to over dramatize things that happen and exaggerate stories like every conversation, which really irritates me but that shouldn't make me not want to talk to her. I feel like such a bad person for thinking like this. Am I selfish or something?
   

Hey there!

Sometimes people just aren’t compatible as friends (in my opinion anyway) You could both be great people but just not click, yknow? It doesn’t make you selfish at all, or a bad person. You can’t help how you feel :) If you don’t want to hang out with her then don’t, no-one can force you and if it makes you feel more positive then im all for it! and if one day youre like ‘shes rad im gonna hang out with her’ then thats okay too! sometimes things that annoy you change over time, just go with the flow :)

~Chrissy

Posted 1 month ago with 0 notes

anonymous submitted:

don’t know what to do

boys and girls can be best friends right? but what do you do when your boyfriend is also your best friend but you’re not his? and when it seems like he cares more about his best friend than you? and when it even seems like she is his girlfriend instead of you? i never trusted them being togheter.

when my boyfriend and i got togheter they already seemed super close to each other, when i was with him he was constantly texting her and they send each other 4 ♥’s. i got annoyed of it so i asked him to stop. (he always got mad when i texted another boy, he still does) so he stopped. but they were still close in front of me (like hugging and teasing each other in front of my face) i also asked to stop that so he did. everything was fine and i started to trust them again. but lately something happened. i live in belgium so there were kanaalfeesten in Willebroek so i went there with my boyfriend and his best friend came with us. (she’s also a friend of me btw) but they were constantly hugging each other and playing and teasing each other in front of my face, they were acting like i don’t even existed. We sat around a table, just the 3 of us. but suddenly my boyfriend and her were gone, they stood up and went somewhere and left me all alone out there. he also gave his sweater to her when she was cold while i was freezing too. they just acted like i wasen’t there at all. and it seemed like she was his girlfriend. he also let me down a couple of times just to hang out with her when i needed him. so i just don’t know what to do. i talked to him about it but he doesn’t understand how i feel. he never really cared about my feelings..

Hey there! :)

I apologise for the late reply. sorry if im speaking out of line but this boy sounds like a bit of a jerk! im annoyed for you. I suggest seriously talking to him and telling him everything your telling me and that hes being completely inappropriate. It’s possible he doesn’t realise hes doing this to you and if you have an honest chat with him about it and tell him how hes making you feel if hes a good boyfriend he should stop. 

It might also be an idea to talk to the girl if your close enough. If you choose to i’d suggest doing it in person and being careful with your wording, girls are defensive about that kind of stuff usually. Let her know firmly that he’s your boyfriend not hers and it needs to stop.

I really hope you can sort things out! Best of luck

~Chrissy

Posted 1 month ago with 0 notes

I know we have a submission but i cant answer it on my phone without posting your url so please be patient!! Ill try to get access to a computer asap

Posted 1 month ago with 0 notes

Anonymous: So, my gf flirts with one of her b friends all the time, they call each other babe, bae, boo, and are always saying they love each other and need each other. I don't think that its appropriate when I'm her gf, for her to always say that to another girl. She says that I have no right to be bothered by it and that this girl is her best friend and they're just friends. She also said she wants to make sure her friend doesn't to over think the relationship based on the flirting, how isn't that wrong?
   

Hey there!

If this is making you uncomfortable you were right to tell her and although you can’t force her to change how she acts you can certainly ask. If she’s refused to change you then have to decide whether you want to continue the relationship or break up with her. Honestly she could just love her friend as a friend and have that kind of bond ( myself and other people i know have had friends who we acted closer to but never felt anything for) though there is a possibility that she does have stronger feelings. I would suggest sitting down and talking to her properly, discussing how it makes you feel and how she feels etc and go from there :)

Hope i’ve helped,

~Chrissy

Posted 2 months ago with 0 notes
Admins online!! If you need advice we can help :)
Posted 2 months ago with 0 notes

anything-advice-blog: Hi, how are you today? I have a quick question for you, I was wondering if you could let your followers know that I'm an advice blog. I give advice on anything & everything from eating disorders and other mental health, to friendships, relationships, family, sexuality, fashions. Seriously anything. It would be awesome if you could post this message so your followers can see. My blog is pro recovery & I have TONS of helpful resources on my blog. Feel free to message me anytime -Shelby
   

follow this blog!!! :)

Posted 2 months ago with 0 notes